Remember that show? When someone had to run around looking for all the expensive stuff and the hidden prizes? They always threw in the maximum number of whole turkeys. I would be terrible at that show now. I may never have been good at it, but I would be particularly terrible now.
I found myself in the supermarket yesterday and I was reminded how useless I am in the supermarket right now. I get visually overwhelmed very quickly. This makes it difficult to browse or to actually find anything. Because I am overwhelmed, it is also difficult for me to actually think about what I might want. A list is helpful to get the essentials, but even that doesn’t solve the problem of the experience I now endure.
Mom went off to get something and left me to shop for whatever I wanted. I looked down the aisles and selected the snack aisle because everyone always needs snacks. I decided I would get Triscuits. When I found the section, I could only see family size boxes and flavored boxes, no regular, original Triscuits. After what was probably 30-60 seconds but what felt like 10 minutes, I finally found what I was looking for. But it was frustrating and I was on the verge of tears in the freaking supermarket in the stupid snack aisle. This is my life now.
I like to focus on the positive and I tend to write more about that. I have no interest in writing things to have people read them and feel pity or feel sorry for me. I’m dealing with this new reality and sometimes it does suck. Most of the time I look at it as an adventure. I look forward, though, to those days where going to the supermarket is not given a second thought at all and is just another errand that needs to be run. The things we take for granted…