Comfort IN, Dump OUT

Comfort IN, Dump OUT

It’s been a really long time since I’ve written anything here. I’m about halfway through my chemo and things are pretty normal, as normal can be.  I’m trying to be more productive, by my “new normal” standards.  Reading is difficult for me because of my visual impairments; however, I try to push myself when I can.  I am reading a book called In Shock by Rana Awdish, a doctor who became a patient and experienced many interesting things along that journey.  Many I relate to.  One in particular is related to my last post from so long ago and it has to do with communication.  There’s something called the Ring Theory.   Picture concentric circles with the person in need of support in the center, immediate family and close friends in the next circle, and more circles that eventually lead to acquaintances in the far circle. Based on these circles, the etiquette for venting or complaining about a situation is as follows: comfort in and dump out.  Say things that are comforting when speaking to someone in a smaller, closer circle and leave the venting for someone in a farther, outer circle.  I love this concept and it works in any situation where someone needs support.  A nurse or a neighbor shouldn’t be telling a close family member how awful the situation was for THEM.  As someone who sits in the center of my own circles, I have come to be aware of how some people make every situation all about themselves and are thus violating the basic principle of this ring theory.  I think it’s a great way to ask yourself whether you’re helping the situation or interjecting your own needs into the situation.  We could all learn from this kind of awareness.

 

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