Overwhelming NYC

I’m back. About to start my third round of chemo and turn 40.  Woohoo.

Yesterday was somewhat of a bummer day unexpectedly.  My chemo was pushed back a week after I accidentally took too much and so Mom and I took advantage of a week of me feeling good.  We spend a couple days in NYC.  Chihuly at the Botanical Gardens then the Guggenheim.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t handle the Guggenheim.  It was too overwhelming for me. I couldn’t look at the artwork to the right and walk around to the left because I can’t see to the left.  It was a little easier once we went all the way to the top and came down because I could just hold onto the railing with my right hand and look to the left, but it really reminded me of the visual deficit and I was bummed that I couldn’t enjoy the museum. I think it was the first time I really got upset about some ability that I’ve lost. Bummer for sure.

I also learned that sitting in a car driving around the city was extremely difficult for me. I got really anxious.  There was just so much going on all around me and I can’t process it all and it was not fun for me at all. Also a bummer.  It is just way too easy for me to get overwhelmed by things that are very busy and that are unusual or out of the ordinary for me.  I suspect a combination of the eyes and the slowed cognitive processing.

My eyes do continue to amuse me though. The other day I thought that people were saying Einstein was exposed as a sexual predator.  My thought was, Really?!? Then I realized I didn’t see the W because it was all the way to the left and in my blind spot.  Einstein is still good as far as I know.

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One thought on “Overwhelming NYC

  1. Ah my dearest. I will sit w your hand in mine and we can slow things waaaay down. Living in the jungle, I find places like airports and driving in city traffic very overwhelming. You are so welcome when this process gives you space. Happy birthday. 🎁

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