This morning I believe I had my first successful application of my STP tool and I am stoked. I have been in a bit of a slump with my brain not doing a whole lot and being extremely fatigued overall. I haven’t been able to watch anything that requires too much attention, so that means lots of SVU and things like Botched or Survivor. I also haven’t been able to read much of anything for almost 2 years. I don’t know if this is because of my vision, my information processing, long term radiation effects, seizure effects or some combination of these. Regardless, it has bummed me out that my pile of books hasn’t been touched for quite a long time. Yesterday I actually picked up that last book that I had been reading and attempted to take a look at the things I had underlined or marked already to get myself up to speed to start reading again. It was pretty clear almost immediately that nothing was entering my brain. I was reading the words and saying them internally, but there was nothing being retained. I was extremely disheartened by this.
I have learned by experience that I need to do something 3 times to be sure I understand the experience. If the first 2 times are the same, the third will confirm the experience. If the first 2 times are different, the 3rd will tell me whether to trust the first or second OR to be aware that each time may be a different experience altogether. That prepares me for moving forward. So this morning was attempt number 2.
I decided to prioritize it in the morning when my brain is most with it. I once again tried to read some of the notes that I had marked from the previous reading. Then I remembered something I learned years ago! Prior to my brain tumor, I had read a book on the relationship between exercise and the brain. The book was Spark by John Ratey. One of the main takeaways from the book was the impact of cardio on the brain’s ability to learn and perform. I remember one study that assessed gym class at the beginning of the day and found that students had improvements, especially after cardio specifically. This book was a huge influence on me after my brain surgery and my focus on doing all that I can to help my brain. I have focused on cardio and yoga for the last 5 years for my brain health.
After reading a few pages this morning, seeing some things that were familiar from yesterday, and remembering Spark, I hopped onto my mini-trampoline rebounder and bounced around for 10 minutes before I sat down to read a little bit. Initially, it felt like I was able to do more than yesterday, so I’m optimistic. My plan moving forward is to bounce a little bit before I want to read. I’m wondering if reading aloud might also be a useful strategy, as that gets more of my overall brain working and may in turn make it take in the information just al little bit easier…And even if it doesn’t work, I’ve tried something, I’m getting in more cardio, and I feel like I’m DOING something.